Lord knows.

It has been so long since I last updated this blog. I can't seems to focus on it since I've been busy writing for The Edge while at the same time trying to catch up with my studies. God, I always love to write. It's the only avenue that I could express myself and let my opinion be heard. Sometimes writing make me realize what I never thought of myself before. It is sort of retrospective myself, reflecting on who I really am.

The reason why I feel like updating this blog back because recently I was quite lost. I sort of like lost myself, who I really am, what I stand for and what I'm searching. I want to find myself back. I've been wondering around recklessly, doing things that I never thought of before. And not that it wasn't good, and not that I regret it all. But god knows what I'm feeling and what I really need.

I'm searching for love. I want to love and be loved in return. I have been searching for love for god knows how long. And now I am so tired. I want to stop searching for love, but I just can't seem to make myself stop from searching for it. I've been searching for love everywhere. God knows where I've been to for the sake of love. I failed. Love seems to avoid me.

Am I not worthy to be loved? Am I destined not to find it because of what I've done before. Is this the punishment for me?

Only lord knows.

Firdaus Fariq Che Ahmad - Please Come Back Home

Dear Fida,

Where are you, dear? We are worried sick on your condition there in Egypt. How could you not call any of us to inform your condition there?
I know situation is very much like hell, but I want you to keep be strong, k! You have to be strong! Take care of your safety first before anything else. I want to see you when you're back in Malaysia.
Fida, I always miss you. You are one of the best friend I ever have. And you will always be.